Progress

So I realized that I am starting to follow o-5 eating today. It just never really clicked that I was transforming. I have been dishing up smaller proportions with my food, or if I am eating out, I cut it in half, and I wait about half an hour or so to see if I am full, or how full I am, and then I will eat a little more, surprise, I eat quite a bit less than what I have been. But I also eat a little more often, I eat a little before breakfast, then breakfast is my biggest meal of the day, a snack, then lunch, then a snack, and dinner, which is my smallest meal. Sometimes, I eat a small, small, snack before bed. It all just depends on me and the day I have had. Yay me.

In a year and ten months, I will be at my dream weight, 150, a buck & 50 cents, 1.5, 1 and 1/2, 68.0388555 kilograms, say it however you want! I will be my perfect weight, and none the less happy, but also satisfied, that I conquered the thing that has plagued me my whole life. That I did what I thought was impossible, that I proved everyone wrong. That I know I gave my all, and did it!
If I can put this much weight on, you better sure as heck believe it CAN & WILL come off.

Its not that I have a problem with being unhappy because I am not the skinniest girl around, in fact, I being plus sized used to be beautiful. Who knows how society changed?! Who decided that to be beautiful, accomplished, amazing, you have to be a buck o' five?! I think its shallow and disgusting to describe, and judge, define people off how much their body is. So what then does that make normal? No one KNOWS what the definition of perfect is!! So, I think its stupid that people are skinny to please others! Please, I am losing weight for ME, I am being selfish, I want to be healthy, I want to live my life to the limit without being "weighed down".

Its sad really that food has been my drug, I HAVE to face it everyday, while those addicted to alcohol and drugs and such, don't HAVE to face it everyday, you can just get rehabbed, cleansed, and you are done. Unless you choose to go there, and take it. Then you would relapse. But with food, you relapse every time you HAVE & NEED to eat to live. I would rather be an alcoholic than be addicted to food.